Paul Sullivan: Cubs’ 150th anniversary team forgets some names that made the franchise unique

CHICAGO — The Chicago Cubs on Monday announced their 150th anniversary team, which includes the usual suspects and some curious omissions.

Suffice to say it’s not a true representation of 150 years of the franchise, considering few of the fans who voted probably watched anyone from 1876-1975, the first century of Cubs baseball.

It would’ve been better left to Cubs historians, but because Ed Hartig is the only one they have, Cubs management probably didn’t want to put all the responsibility on him.

While the Cubs limited the ballot to players and managers, obviously there’s much more to the team’s storied history than the 40 players and three managers selected. Many others left their mark on the franchise, including owners, executives, announcers, fans and bar owners.

As the Cubs writer with the longest tenure, dating to 1987, it’s my honor to present the real 150th anniversary crew.

Orator: Lee Elia

Though he posted a 127-158 record in 1982-83, the former Cubs manager famously declared: “Eighty-five percent of the (expletive) world’s working. The other 15 come out here. A (expletive) playground for the (expletives). Rip them (expletives). Rip them (expletives), like the (expletive) players.” Elia’s legend never will dim.

Bleacher Bum: Ronnie 'Woo-Woo' Wickers

The Granddaddy of Bums was a bleacher staple for decades, destroying the eardrums of several generations of Cubs fans. The Chicago Sun-Times once declared Ronnie Woo dead, only for the Chicago Tribune to locate him at his job delivering pizzas. He entered the newsroom with a half-dozen pizzas yelling: “I’m alive, woo! I’m alive, woo!” He’s still alive and wooing.

Fan: Steve Bartman

Bartman earned the respect of Cubdom by refusing to cash in on his sudden fame from the foul ball he deflected during the fateful Cubs collapse in Game 6 of the 2003 National League Championship Series. Rewarded with a 2016 World Series ring for his troubles, Bartman has avoided the media for 23 years and counting.

Owner: P.K. Wrigley

He kept lights out of Wrigley Field and paid for newspaper ads with a personal letter lambasting a “Dump Durocher clique” of players who wanted manager Leo Durocher ousted.

Media critic: Jimmy Ryan

In July 1892, the Cubs outfielder punched Chicago Evening News writer George Bechel several times for a harsh article about him. The Tribune reported Ryan “assaulted the reporter, using him up pretty badly, cutting a gash in his chin and bruising his face considerably.”

Curse maker: William 'Billy Goat' Sianis

The bar owner placed the famous “Billy Goat Curse” on the Cubs for not allowing his goat into the 1945 World Series. It became one of the great legends in sports history. The legend gained greater renown thanks to his nephew, Sam Sianis, who spread the word into the 21st century.

Ball girl: Marla Collins

Hired by Tribune Co. to wear hot pants and bring cheesecake to the ballpark, Collins was then fired in 1986 for appearing nude in Playboy. “That’s the best thing I’ve seen out of uniform all year,” Harry Caray quipped. Thirty years later, pitcher Jake Arrieta appeared nude in ESPN the Magazine. He was not fired.

Marketer: John McDonough

He invented the Cubs Convention and celebrity guest conductors for the seventh-inning stretch. Some insist he invented Sammy Sosa, who attracted millions of fans to watch some bad teams.

Beer: Old Style

Cubs fans were usually fully krausened by the third inning before 1988, when the team stopped vendors from selling beer in the bleachers, forcing people to actually get up.

General manager: Jim Hendry

He won three division titles in the 2000s and changed the Cubs’ narrative until Tribune Co. stopped spending before selling the team.

President: Theo Epstein

He built a championship team from the bottom up and also spent some quality time in the bleacher basket during a bacchanalia before leaving Chicago for good.

Priest: Rev. James Greanias

Invited by Cubs brass to remove the Curse of the Billy Goat before Game 1 of the 2008 playoffs, he then outed the executives after President Crane Kenney claimed Greanias had invited himself for playoff tickets.

Ballhawk: Moe Mullins

The Elmwood Park native has been sitting on the corner of Waveland and Kenmore avenues during home games since 1958, waiting for baseballs to clear the park with his ballhawk brethren. Few balls now leave the yard since the addition of the video board. “The steroid era was very good for the ballhawks,” Mullins once declared.

Rooftop owner: Aiden Dunican

The old-school rooftop owner still is fighting the Cubs in court over rooftop rights and has been a thorn in the Ricketts family’s side for decades.

Bar owner: Beth Murphy

The late, great owner of Murphy’s Bleachers fought the Cubs efforts to block the rooftop owners’ views while making Murphy’s into a must-stop bar for pregame and postgame fans.

Big Z: Big Z

Pitcher Carlos Zambrano, who didn’t make the official 150th-anniversary team, deserves his own special category. He sent teammate Michael Barrett to the hospital with a punch and destroyed many a Gatorade dispenser and water cooler. A temperamental, home-run-hitting pitcher with All-Star credentials, Big Z had more character than anyone in the game today.

TV voice: Jack Brickhouse

Sure, Harry Caray was more beloved. But no one broadcast more Cubs losses than Brickhouse, who uttered, “Oh, brother,” for most of my childhood.

Radio voice: Pat Hughes

And the Hall of Famer is still going strong.

TV director: Arne Harris

He invented the Arne hat shot, made Marla Collins famous and was frequently mentioned during broadcasts by Harry Caray: “Hey, Arne, wouldja look at that!”

Clubbie: Yosh Kawano

Yosh’s Gilligan hat was in the Hall of Fame. Enough said about “the king of Wrigley Field.”

Six-fingered pitcher: Antonio Alfonseca

After the six-fingered reliever belly-bumped an umpire, manager Dusty Baker called it “assault with a deadly belly.”

Oddball pitcher: (tie) Bill Faul and Turk Wendell

Faul was the pitcher who once hypnotized his arm, and Wendell brushed his teeth in the dugout.

Elevator operator: Fred Sandke

The elderly gentleman was part of a shake-up by clueless Cubs management during an 8-31 slump in September 1999. Sandke lamented that his bosses told him he “needed some fresh air” and moved him from his position. After some bad newspaper publicity, Sandke was returned to his elevator.

Remodeler: Bill Veeck

He created the modern-day bleachers in 1937, planting the iconic ivy. Veeck spent his final years sitting in the bleachers with his friends, retelling old stories to the next generation of Cubs fans.

Celebrity fan: Bill Murray

Unanimous selection. No one is really close.

Scoreboard operator: 'Quick Rick' Fuhs

He updates balls and strikes on the old scoreboard before the plate umpire finishes his call and is still the best in the business.

World Series MVP: Ben Zobrist

As the only World Series MVP in Cubs history, Zobrist was a logical choice.

Greasy spoon: Yum-Yum Donuts

When the Cubs demolished the classic doughnut shop for renovations, they changed Wrigleyville forever. Fast-food joints and bars catering to the bro culture now dominate the neighborhood. Thanks, Cubs.